Over the past several months, I've been undergoing a change. There has been a lot of emotions - pain, sorrow, joy, love. I have realised that all of this was needed to get me to where I am today. I also realise that where I am today is not where I was yesterday and not where I will be tomorrow. I am content with where I am today. Today, I am friends with all of me. I am standing in my own power and letting my light shine. The light has always been there. Sometimes, the embers need a bit of fanning and fuel.  Today, there is a constant glow.

In the past week, I have felt a sense of calm and peace. I have had this feeling before.  I have re-discovered my Self.

This is one of my favourite poems. Today, it expresses for me my return home.

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

-- DEREK WALCOTT

Lately, I have been getting these messages from my inner soul. This week's message is to release expectations. I have a lot of expectations of myself and of others, of how I want things to be and how I want them to turn out. I am flowing. People come and go, feelings arise and fall. Like leaves on a maple tree, there is a colour for every season.

To let go of the external expectations, I am letting go of the inner ones. This goes with what I mentioned in my previous post about being friends with myself. My message last week was "Stand in your own power".  When I hear that voice inside that tells me I did a bad job or I'm not being a good person, I don't try to fight it but I also don't get carried away by it anymore. More and more, there is another voice that says "I am doing my best".

Right now, I am filled with a sense of gratitude for all of life's teachings. I am grateful for the friends I have met on zaadz, for the friends in my life, for my family. I am grateful for all my senses, my eyes that allow me to see brilliant colours, my ears that allow me to hear the laughter of a child, my nose that allows me to smell fresh baking, my hands that allow me to feel the softness of a pet, my feet that allow me to crunch through fall leaves. Most of all, I am grateful for my sixth sense that allows me to just know that all is happening perfectly.

I just wanted to share this picture with all of you. This is a pic of the sun setting in Santis, Switzerland. Thanks to my friend Werner for this gift!

Last night, I went to the observatory with a new friend. It was a really wonderful experience. I saw Comet Swan, Andromeda, Cassiopeia, Pegasus, the Pleaides, and a shooting star. I was and still am touched by this experience. It humbles me to think of these stars that are millions of light years away. I am awed by the wonders of this universe.