As some of you know, I've been on the job curcuit for a couple months now. I'll be graduating this summer and am looking for a faculty position for the fall. Yesterday, I got another letter of rejection. Actually, this was a really nice letter. The search committee chair was kind enough to send me an email explaining the decision. The department's decision to hire me was over-turned by the Provost of the university because of a technicality. This is really unusual as the department and dean's decision are rarely questioned. I am disappointed but in the end, I know that everything will work out. It always does. It's hard not to get discouraged though, partly because of the expectations I've had about finding a position. I've been told that there is a shortage of Ph.D. students in the field and that there is an exodus of professors. None of this is to my advantage at the moment. There's still another school I'm waiting to hear from so I've not given up. As my mom says, the gods want me somewhere else.

I am learning a lot right now.  I’m cultivating more patience lately. I think walking to school each day is good for me. it gives me the time to listen to the dharma talks and carry the messages throughout the day. Yes, there are still moments when I have expectations. I suppose that is normal.

What I’ve been learning lately is that all of me is okay. I used to think that I was really different from everyone, having all these different parts and emotions stir up when something happens, feeling a mix of emotions like equanimity and jealousy at the same time. Yet, I’m learning that all of this is okay.

The dharma talk I was listening to this morning was titled "Good Enough". The phrase that caught me was: Good enough is good enough. I don't have to push it. So true.

Everything happens in cycles, moment to moment.

So the job saga continues...I have been offered a position by another university. Yeah! I'm excited about this opportunity. The down side of things is that the salary they offered me doesn't take into consideration the cost of living or the experience I have. I will counter their offer but there is a part of me that is in a bit of a dilemna about all of this: I know I can make a valuable contribution to the department and to the field I'm in BUT does asking for more money seem to be too greedy and opportunistic? I have this do-gooder personality in me that says "It doesn't matter, as long as you do good for other people". Then there's another part of me that says, "but what about doing good for yourself?"

I would love to hear people's opinions about this. And as a side note, I just wish the job process was a lot easier!

Also, if anyone has any tips on how to negotiate, I would greatly appreciate your suggestions.

Well, it's decided. I accepted the position and am moving to California in a few months. They offered me something that was acceptable and within the range I was wanting. I am excited about the changes that are upcoming.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by and commented on my dilemma blog. Sandra made a great comment in my previous blog about the lessons of her friend. I fully agree. I think this process has really taught me a lot about living in integrity and authenticity. The job and the money were peripheral to this experience. This was an opportunity to put into practice what I have been integrating into my life over the past year, to stand in my own power and as Jeremiah says, to live in integrity with my Self.

A friend of mine reminded me of the difference between being kind and being nice. I think that most of my life has been to try to be a nice person. I am now learning the difference between these two words. He said, "Kind is the actualization of Truth". I agree with this. I realise that the truth is different for everyone but the universal Truth is always there for us to tap into. What I have learned in all of this is to trust in my intention to live in Truth.